Me, myself and I

31Jul06…back from london…ooh I sure do miss home though I hv only been away for abt 4 days..I sure do miss London too. So wat else once I got there, I was ecstatic. I can’t wait to do so many things there.

1st day of arrival…slept for a while before going out SHOPPING! It was the sale season. Bought a top from NEXT, 2 pair of sandals from CLARKS n stuff from Marks n Spencers. Cos mum didn really like how her legs look in the sandals that I bought for her, she has decided to give it to me instead. Yahoo…although initially I was upset when she didn’t want it. Hehe. In the evening, me n Dora went for a musical. We had wanted to watch Mary Poppins but tickets for most popular musicals were sold out cos of the summer school holidays! Damn! We decided on Whistle in the Wind cos the music was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, the same guy who did Phantom. And yes, though I was super tired n sleepy from the long flight, I tried to keep myself awake. The music was fantastic. For the 1st time I go a seat at the STALL area, thats the front seats for only 24pounds. I paid more for not so good seats for other musicals before this. It was a touching musical that has deeper meaning than wat it seems to be…so u gotta watch it to decipher for your own self. As we walk around Leicester Square after the musical, we were greeted by many gays in the area…sth like gay nite out. Few are so cute but too bad lah…It was the weekend so evrywhere we go, it was jam pact.

Next day, nothing much happened. Initially we had planned to go for sightseeing to the suburb but cos we were juz so lazy n tired, we decided to juz walk around the hotel area. Had lunch wz the team at Mawar, a malaysian food joint that sells nasi padang. N then back to shopping again, only tis time, window shopping! My God can’t believe I spent so much on food items…arrgghhh esp on chocolatey stuff. Cialak sure put on more weight again! Die! Wanted to go for English Tea at the Hyde Park pun tak jadi after walking too much by the streets. So in the end we had packed dinner which we enjoy in the room. Tks Dora for letting me mess up yr room. Haha.

Today back home in singapore. Had a short rest before going out wz Yu n Minyi. Went for dinner n then watched Pirates of the Caribbean. It was so hilarious, really enjoyed it.

Well thats all the updates for these past few days. Gonna get ready for the bed. Nite….

27Jul06

Finally I am going to london again!!! Been so long since I last step my feet there. Can’t wait to go sightseeing, watch my musical and to shop!!! I love it! I need a break! N it’s summer so I will hv a long day out to do it.

Got this weird feeling of missing someone…wat’s happening? SHIT!!! This can’t be true. I am not supposed to be feeling this way! Arrgghhh. So uncertain of situation of our standings! Lina keep praying!!!!

Hey Rad, sori won’t be around to celebrate yr birthday tis Fri. Anyway hv fun ok. I am sure you will…wz that someone?? Hehe. Advance birthday greetings. May u be blessed wz many happy returns.

Gonna take my shower now n bobok. Tired tmr another day of work.

My dearest lucky star, suzi….tks babe for the good news again. Yup i do understand. I am cool wz it. SSOOO hhhaaapppyyy! n yes i am glad u r getting better….kalau niat kita baik babe, insya Allah kita akan diberi petunjukNya.

I can’t wait to go diving again in sep! Yahoo..i juz hope i stil remember how to dive. Got short memory u see…it’ ll be more exciting tis time cos i sure will stnadby my camera and take loads of underwater pic!!! yahoo! hope it wil come true for me to go on tis trip..no last min plan crasher! Haha…Rad let’s go….hopefully u can take leave and accompany me ok.

Breakout! Am i stress or wat?? juz feel like squuuueeeezzziiinnn them. Hopefully my face clear up…maybe it’s juz that time of the month…hmmm.

Wah so tired, bz day today. Finally house look bit cleaner after the typhoon hitting home wz the presence of my 2 darling monkeys!!! Housekeepin done….Gonna sleep now. Hopefully i will dream sth sweet again tonite…ciao.

Confused?

Scared?

Where are all these leading me to? I know I have to follow my head and my instincts but tis time I feel my instinct is unsure of itself. How could that be? Is there others besides me who are confused as well? Be firm, make a stand. When I want to leave it, things change. Lucky star wat do I do now? Do I wait? Or do I initiate? Tis feeling of dilemma sucks! I want to but yet the thought of it deters me! Cos of wat the outcome may be….TELL ME THE TRUTH FOR GOODNESS SAKE wat is hidden from me??? Why do you ask me those questions? Wat do u mean? Hmmm….

Anyway I received a sms that was really sweet…tks Rad. It made me slept well to hear sth sweet before bed. I am glad it made your day. You should go out and give yourself a break more often when you are off over the weekend. Life is not juz work cos it’ll make you a dull person! Let me know if u need company ok. It will be a pleasure to do so. Take care yah. Cu around.

To my buddies….chelsea n yu, hey let’s go gals hv some fun soon ok. Miss u gals. Jo wat u been up to? Bz ah??? Now it’s only 3 of us I guess..someone got company oredi mah…hehe. Muz go makaning and shopping ok!! haha. n yes our massage too!

Meow meow where are you?

Mirror, well done. i am so proud of you. U made it thru tis week too.  Go get that scuba licence too ok as soon as u r finished wz yr training. Can’t wait to find more kaki go diving. It’s fantastic! N yes let’s go tanning!! Haha. Miss yr jokes!

SO tired…gonna hv my lunch, shower n then LEPAK!!! Long day again tmr…

21Jul06….Busy day, pack wz activities today. Had lunch wz family again, that’s routine for off day. This time the Hainanese Chix Rice at Tanglin Halt. Yummy best chix rice I ever had, halal that is. Then went to visit few frenz that I miss so much. Hv not seen them for a while. Went to their office and invade their time. Haha, short time spent but gd enough. Quality time. N here comes the highlight of the day…..

Celebrated a fren’s birthday at fish n co at park mall but guess wat??!!! I thought the birthdate was 24th jul so i decided to hv an advance birthday celebration today since it’s a fri nite. At the end of the meal only did I find out it is 28th jul…Alamak so paiseh… so advance birthday celebration. I thought I wanted it to be a surprise but I got the shock myself.. But any o how we had a great time..’talkin nonsense’…some pple being crude and thick skin!!! Haha Rad, sounds familiar? And we had a very interesting chat…abt MARRIAGE!

Rad, I am sori about yr late grandpa’s wish to see you get married before he passed away. I am sure you will find someone nice to accompany you thru life. I pray for u my fren. Amin. N yes you are right, we juz gotta be selfish when finding our life partner…haha we sure don wanna add to that statistic! U know….N sometimes when you feel that someone is the ONE, that person end up hurting u most! So take all the time you want to find the best one for you. Take care. Cu soon ok.

Arrrgghhh I juz wanna cont my blog but too sleepy. Write on another day.

Today has been a rather fruitful day…went makan, finally at Hajah Maimunah. It was YUMMY! It was always nice to go out wz the family, aunties, cuzs and nieces. Shiok. I finally sorted out my photos into albums after they collected dust! Yes yu n Chelsea, FINALLY! Had heavy dinner which I tapau frm downstairs. Sob unhealthy….cos oily food that I had but heck let’s go on diet tmr…yes I put on an extra 2 kgs! Wonder is it cos of stress from work or happiness frm ……heehee. I am so proud of myself. I hv HE-TOXED! If only I had started earlier and get to appreciate more of the beauty of life. Arrgghh those times I held on cos of my faith..guess I had to admit I was wrong for holding on and believing in it. Well ke depan pandang!

Hmm despite a rather good day especially after catching up time wz a fren, I blew sth away…shucks why did I do that ah? Blow my chance but hey I juz gotta tell myself. Til things are certain I shd never give in to that emo. I should be strong and keep praying for the best to come my way. God show me, please.

It was great to receive a call from Voonie. Hehe gonna visit her tmr….yeah!  Can’t wait. I MISS HER SO MUCH! and lots of others too. Mirror u too. Meow meow where are you?

Thats all..time to make some dreams…sweet ones….hmmmm

It’s been a week now since I got my scuba licence. Hurray am I good or wat? Puke! Guess anyone can do it but it really was a huge personal achievement. It’s been my goal to get that licence to explore the world below…..the sea that is. And I am glad that I made the right decision to do so and despite the very short time I had to make all the necesary arrangements. Here is how it all started.

I was scheduled to have 3 days off from work and to extend that period, I applied for another 2 days leave 2 months back. I had wanted to go for a short trip somewhere to relax my mind n body. Haha. That was till a fren sms me and told me that he has juz got his scuba licence. Damn! N that got me started to make my move to get that as well. I tried searching for dive schools but it was rather difficult to arrange for a flexible schedule for me cos of my time constraints and their facilities constraint. Arrgghh I was frustrated cos being a shift worker might juz cost me my dream. But I was not about to give up. I was determined to take a crash course somewhere despite costing me more to do so. I could not waste this opportunity that I have, TIME to get that licence. It may never come again.

I was hoping to do it in Bunakan, a diving paradise in Manado Indonesia. It was recommended by a fren and yes from pictures that I saw in the internet, the place was spectacular. Problem was flight was full!!! Arrgghhh. Another obstacle??? In the end I decided to try Tioman as my last resort. If I can’t find a dive centre that wil take me, I will juz forget about this dream, for now. But hey GOD loves me..I found Tioman Dive Centre! I started making all the necessary arrangements to get me there, all within a day. Today all was done, and the next day I was off. I can’t believe I did all that, travelling n learning diving alone! But I am glad I did.

I had very minimal sleep before my travel. Only slept at 4am and my coach leaves Sin at 6.40am! So u can imagine I slept like a log on the journey…N thank God I did cos I was caught by surprise that I had to do the swim test immediately on my arrival at the dive centre in Tekek Tioman. Arrggghhh the 200m swim followed by a 10min float. For most it will be peanut. But for me whose stamina has gone down the drain since school days, it was torturous. Thank God I survived it. N yes the sea urchins that I saw during my swim was intimidating…together wz the current of the sea, it juz drained my energy out, faster. Haha…N now the adventure starts…

1st day…

It was mostly theory lessons which made me sleepy especially wz the insufficient rest…watching video, answering quizzes….oh yes it was a solo class for me. Yes one to one training wz Andrew my instructor. He’s a great teacher! Nothing much happened on the 1st day cos of the time. I arrived about 2pm and the class ended at about 5pm. But it sure was a hell of a lot to read..crash course. Didn’t have a good sleep that nite and the nites to come cos the mosquitoes seem to love me! N not forgetting the stings that I got from the water that ITCH LIKE MAD!

2nd day…

Early morning I had to wake up cos I had unfinished assignments and readings….n at 9am I had to be in the water for my skills lessons. My God the damn tank was super heavy. I felt like it was breaking my back bone. N it sure was heavier as I got out from the water later! But I had fun, till I had to face my dear frens the sea urchins again! They really look scary underwater and the ‘needles’ scare me. I was so scared of being pricked that I tried to stay further away from them by remaining close to the top! That wasn’t good of course for me. But well…it got better wz evry dive….my bouyancy that is.

3rd day…

The better day for my diving skills. I learnt to enjoy it more and improvise my buoyancy in the water. But wat really helped was when my instructor picked up a broken sea urchin ‘needle’ for me to feel it. Hey it’s sharp but I guess if I get pricked I won die from it! Juz punctured wounds. Like wat Andrew said, we’ve got to respect the sea inhabitants and all will be fine.

I went for a 12m dive later in the afternoon which was really awesome! Saw 2 flatworms which were magnificent. And I count myself very lucky cos accoring to Andrew he has not seen them for months! N the luck keeps coming in on the last day of my course. N that nite I had a rather good sleep despite the mosquitoes still visiting me. Didn’t have to do much readings….hurray.

4th day…

It was my final day in Tioman. I was really excited cos we were going for 2 dives…one was to a shipwreck, the other was to a reef. N I had a buddy, Robert. Rob is from NY and he was there for a holiday and decided to join in the dive. Cool but scary too cos that means Andrew will not be by my side. I was to keep a distant from him but it was a good experience. It helped me to trust someone new and for me to take care of him. It helped build my confidence level too, in the water that is.

Because of the strong current, the water visibilty was very poor, only within a 5m range. According to Andrew the visibility can be as good as 40m. Errr so disappointing but hey wz every negative thing comes gd ones too. Cos of the current, we were pushed away from the shipwreck to a new, untouched reef. It was AMAZING!!! The reef was colourful and untouched. No signs of human interference, evrything about it was natural. I can still see the beauty in my mind right now. Wat’s interesting too was we helped to free a baby sting ray from a cage! It was locked up…poor it. Muz have missed its parents. Wow it was really cool.

2nd dive was to Renggis reef again. I had problem equalising on that dive. This time we went 18m down. It sure was my lucky day again! I saw barracudas, blue spotted sting ray, snake eel, the view was juz spectacular to see the schools of fishes swimming around and above you! So colourful! N there was this little devil who stared at me, as if he wanted a fight. Another big one kept following me…it’s shocking at times to see it suddenly swimming next to you. As I was swimming above the corals, I couldn’t thank God enough for that chance to appreciate his lovely creation in the sea. No words could describe my experience. N the finale was when we finally spotted a hawksbill TURTLE!!! It looked ahhh dono wat to say oredi. If only I can psycho pple to go for this experience.

That was the end of that life changing experience in Tioman. I sure miss that place but I miss home too. My bed!! My challenge did not end there. I missed my bus from Mersing back to Sin cos the speedboat was late. N as a result I had to take the taxi which cost me a bomb! N yes I almost fainted that day cos I did not have a meal at all for the whole day….frm morning til I got home in sin. I was starving! Don ask me why…long story.

The whole journey that I went thru was simply INDESCRIBABLE. Diving juz left me wz awe and I can start talking about it non stop….especially when you have frenz who share the same passion…rite Rad? Let’s go diving! U promised to be my buddy rite? Haha tks for all the encouragements and for putting up wz my daily complaints when I was there.

Now that card will open up a new life in my LIFE. It is probably one of my personal greatest achievements that i hv done for myself. Thank u Allah for allowing this to happen. Let the journey begin again…

Rite now I am looking fwd to my backpacking trip wz Zak again to Europe. Let’s go girl…We’ll see where we will end up at this time.

Juz me,

Hazlina

Yeah, finally goin to Tioman to try to get that scuba licence. Wat a last min plan. Called n chckd all over the web for that crash course and went to grab the 1st one I saw. No time to lose, it’s now or never. Dono if I wil get that chance to do it again. Too bad mirror u can’t make it. Well guess gotta do things alone again! Well let’s make new frens along the way, hopefully. That’s life, at times you are juz left on yr own. Mum, tks for allowing me follow my dreams and for trusting me wz wat I wanna do in my life. Love you very much. Thank you God.

Gaz tks for dinner. Glad u managed to eat all you want before goin back to Johannesburg. I am sure you miss the food here huh. Too bad it’s a short trip for ya. Hope you get posted to a better station that you like yah. C u soon. Next time we can go Christchurch lah explore the beautiful scenery. Hopefully you get posted there too. Hehe. Tks for the nougat. They taste great.

My sweet Suzi, tks for the great news. I am excited. Let’s wait n see.

Siti Nurhaliza n Datuk K…arrgghhh can’t believe it. So upset. She is tis ggreat n young lady…well dah jodoh. Pray for her happiness.

Mr H, wat are you thinking of when you send me that msn? Who is asking for war? I think you are confused and you are scared of your own shadow. Why are you continuing to try to hurt me? Try harder! Don go around accusing people, it’s not funny! I pray God show you the road to peace. I forgive you for all the accusations and mockery and I hope you do too. I am only human. I make mistakes. I juz wanna move on wz my life and you do too, juz like wat you told me too. Take care. Patience has a limit, so don stretch me.

Gotta go n sleep now for an early morning later for Tioman. Yeah. So excited.